Hot Mess of the Week- Auntie’s Birthday

My sisters birthday fell on a Tuesday. Our husbands were working but that didn’t kill our vibe. Please! It was nail salon time and Benihana. Like usual, my snotty nosed offspring were along for the ride. I’m the kind of mom that will bring her kids just about everywehere.

While my BFF sister and I got pedicures my daughter cozied up to the owner of the salon. Bribed by sugary sweet butter cookies she sat still for a glitter pink mani. (Free because the owner is gem and we adore her!)

Well, time was ticking. My kids hit the hay by 7 most nights. It was time to race across town to Benihana, if we knew what was good for us. In a tornado like wind cloud we exit the salon. Wet toenails in paper-like flip flops flapping through the slushy parking lot. #sendhelp.

Quickly we remember we didn’t take Peach to the potty before we left. Smh. Hold on for the game changer though- she says “Mom I have to pee!”. Well, thank you God for that. Can we keep up with informing BEFORE you pee? Thanks. My sister suggests a gas station. I say “yeah right, there’s no way we’ll make it.” I make a hard right  onto a side neighborhood road sliding through the mornings snow in my big black beast of a vehicle. Skirrrrrrt. I whip it around to the side of the street. Here looks as good as any place, I inform my squad. 

I tell Peach she has to pee outside. Like the hardcore MN champion my girl is, she says “ok Mom!”. I open my door to walk around the truck. Immediately recognizing that my fresh pedi is naked to a snowy curb. NO!!! WHY ME?! Hahaha how?! Ok. I suck it up and run around to get my daughter. My feet are covered in snow. I’m screaming in frostbite type pains. Open the door. Decide on a dime, there’s no way I’m stepping out there again. I end up holding Peach an she squats to pee out the door. SUCCESS. Can I get a standing ovation for this toddler?! She’s literally the coolest person I know. At this point, I refuse to go back outside. I ditch the flippy-flops and climb into the drivers seat. I hit the gas barefoot to Benihana. 

The traffic is terrible on our way. Which I was totally clueless to because my typical road map consists of a 12 mile radius. Never at peak commute hours. Blah! We finally arrive. We figure, 35 minutes is more than enough dry time on our tootsies. Our only option is to stuff them into our Frye boots. Yes we both had Frye boots on. As white trashy as we are, we can’t stoop as low as pedicure sandals in a restaurant. 

We scramble inside and they tell us it’s 1-1.5 hour wait. Excuse me? Drink menu please! As I’m deciding between a coconut mojito or Benihana mule the buzzer goes off. 15 minutes in. Thanks for the scare Beni. *rolls eyes*. Peach spends all of dinner running laps around the bar. I’m sure the staff and patrons loved her screeching voice. We enjoy our perfectly cooked filets and head home. What joy! Once I pull off my purple leather booties I find smashed nail polish. Again, there’s not much room to cry over spilled milk, so I laugh. 

It’s really only fitting for my life that I have a messed up pedicure despite my efforts to preserve. 

🤷🏻‍♀️💅- TBHM Hilary

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